By Lauren Zitowsky
Picture this – The room is dark. The darkness is intermittently broken by the flickering of long ivory candles. As the honeysuckle wax drips, it infiltrates every nook of the room. The sweet air becomes sour as fear creeps in. In a circle, 20 eight grade girls stand with their arms intertwined with one another. They are anxiously awaiting their name to be called. Pinkies are crossed, breaths are held and good luck charms have been strategically placed on each and every part of their body. Although they have nothing to fear, as their fate has been sealed, it’s not a reality for them until they hear their name. So they wait.
Looking around the room, you see the same girl twenty times. The women in the circle are all wearing the same poufy ball gown dresses. Their long brown haired heads are adorned with floral headbands while their right arms are accessorized with matching friendship bracelets. Generally, they are able to finish each others sentences. They speak the same jargon and that jargon is that of a school girl trying to fit in. They dress alike, they talk alike they act alike. They are uniform.
After 1 hour, all of their names have been called. Jubilation fills the air as these dolls have just been inducted into the clique of their choosing. They dance around in their poufy ball gowns with visions of the next school year floating in their head. Amazingly yet not surprisingly, these twenty little voices are shouting the same words. Finally, we are going to be cool! In a little while, the honeysuckle candles will be blown out, the lights will be turned off, and this magical room will go back to being just a room.
Fitting in is equivalent to being inducted into a secret society. In order to gain admittance, you must fit in socially as well as physically, obey the rules and vow to represent your clique in whatever ways you are told. Simply stated, you must be liked and in order to be liked you do what others would like you to do. You turn into a follower yet you praise the group leader as this is who you aspire to be.
With the time and energy it takes to be a member of a group doesn’t it sound easier to form your own group? Be a leader and once you do others will strive to fit in with you!
About the Author
Lauren Zitowsky is a certified Teen Life Coach and Energy Leader Index Master Practitioner. In her practice at Teen Life Coach Inc., she helps your teen tackle issues relating to body image, relationships, divorce, heartache, school and peer pressure. Basically, she gets them through the tough times.