By Laura Fobler
www.satisfactive.com
For many people the combination of work and private life is strained. Many parents, particularly mothers, are forced to work part-time and in addition take care of their children and the household. All in all, that is a pretty tough job!
Bringing the children to and picking them up from school, sports clubs or music lessons and play dates, doing the laundry, cooking dinner and shopping for groceries. I personally feel that managing a household is a lot harder than working outside the house, and I deeply respect people who work full-time at home.
Last week, I talked to someone who said: "I would like to devote time to myself, because I find myself really needing it, but I just can't manage it with all the chores I have to do. I notice myself reacting impatiently and angrily towards my children, when I really don't want to do that."
Many people with children would like to have more time for themselves, but they are not able to fulfil that goal because of the bustle of everyday life. As a result, children often pay the price, because they have a parent who reacts in a blunt and uninterested fashion, precisely because of their lack of personal time.
Do you recognize this situation too?
Have you ever heard of the oxygen mask procedure? Anyone who has ever flown in an airplane knows that in emergency situations oxygen masks will appear from the ceiling of the airplane. All parents on board are strongly urged to first put on their own mask before helping their children with theirs.
The idea behind this is actually very simple: you can only mean something to someone else, if you first take care of yourself. Only when your own needs are being met, are you capable of truly being there for someone else, including your own child.
Does your child deserve anything less than that?
How can you manage this? Everyone will eventually develop their own strategy, but here are some tips that could perhaps help you along:
1. Make a week schedule and write down all the time you spend on others (including your children) as well as the time you spend on yourself. Are you satisfied with how the time is distributed, or would you like to change anything?
2. Create a top-5 list of activities that energise you and/or give you inspiration
3. Plan a special activity from your top-5 list at least once every month, to give you something to look forward to, such as an afternoon catching up with a friend, or a day at the spa.
4. Arrange for a babysitter to come by more regularly, so you and your partner can enjoy an evening out together.
5. Try to agree with the parents of your children's friends, that you look after each other's children every now and then, allowing you to make more time for yourself.
Research shows that children prefer to spend more time with parents who are at ease with themselves, rather than with parents who may be physically present, but mentally absent, or frustrated, so don't put if off any longer, and be selfish for once!
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